Parents - What to Expect

Tips for Parents

1. Smile! When your teen leaves for college, you should be his/her biggest cheerleader. College students moving away from home need a confident smile to reassure them that they are doing the right thing. Of course you will miss them; but this is a very jubilant, albeit apprehensive, moment in their lives.
2. Leave a note. If you are dropping your student off at school, leave a note or card somewhere in their new room (maybe tuck in $10, too!). After you have left, it will be nice reminder of how much you care.
3. Do not call every day. So many of our students now have their own cell phone and it is tempting for parents to want to keep in constant contact. Consider limiting calls to only a few times a week. Few freshman college students want Mommy and Daddy checking up on them daily. Let your child know that you trust him/her.
4. Ask "generalized" questions. “How are your classes? Are you having a good time? How is the cafeteria food?” These are great questions that will get better answers than, “What is your roommate like?” (he or she might be listening close by) or, “What did you do today?” Typically, the less you ask, the more they will tell.
5. Use e-mail College students are extremely busy, and e-mail lets you talk back and forth at one another's convenience (even if it is at 2 o'clock in the morning).
6. Be a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes college life can be stressful and frustrating, even for the most studious or sociable kids. Whether the topic is classes or friends, just listen and do not judge. You can always encourage your student to talk with their educational advisor to resolve class-related issues or to their hall director for residence hall related issues. Please don’t start making phone calls for them!
7. Have a discussion about Facebook and MySpace These electronic websites can have a lasting effect on a person’s life. What is posted there is forever archived to follow the student throughout their lives and can later affect things like applying for a job, joining the military or even becoming president. Even if your student removes a posting, someone else may have copied it and it can be in circulation forever! Students are notorious for posting information that is too personal and too informative about themselves, which is a large reason why stalkers love these sites. Encourage your student to be judicious in what information is posted. If you have no idea what these sites are about, look them up because they are an important part of young adult culture now.
8. Encourage your student to take over the daily tasks of their lives if they haven’t already. Every residence hall has a laundry room. Every student is expected to keep a reasonably tidy room and share in the suite bathroom cleaning. UNT does not participate in “student valet service” programs that do laundry, cleaning, or grocery shopping for students. We believe these are things students should be doing themselves and are an important part of college and young adult life.
9. Encourage involvement. College is more than classes and homework. Experience with extracurricular activities is valued by employers. Encourage your student to be active in their field of study, and to join student organizations and honor societies.
10. Enjoy your freedom. You will miss your child, as any parent would. But remember that you have spent 18 years of your life raising them and preparing them to be independent. The university has many staff members to help out and ease the transition, so now it is your time to sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor.
11. Send them something!! Most college students know what time the mail arrives and drop by the Post Office daily to see if anything is in their box. Even if it is just an old picture of them or a short note saying how proud you are of them, SEND SOMETHING and put a smile on their face. Many students cannot afford to keep replenishing consumable items, so why not send them a bag of toiletries or box of school supplies? If you mail the package through an independent delivery service, such as UPS or FedEx and it is sent to a university address, the rates can be very low compared to sending something to a house—between $5-10 the last time I sent an 18” x 18” x 6” box full of food and clothes! (Put “UNT” on the address label along with the street address and ask for the institutional rate). The mailing address for all our halls is available on the hall/staff directory page of the website.
12. Have another discussion about alcohol and drugs. UNT is very strict about drug use and underage consumption of alcohol. Students are removed from the halls on their second alcohol violation and their first drug violation, in addition to further serious sanctions from the university. Students are suspended from the university if there is a significant amount of drugs involved. Although we make this information known widely and talk about it constantly, many students knowingly violate the policy and are sent home. We hate to do this. You hate for it to happen. The student is often “surprised” and devastated. This doesn’t have to happen; students simply need to honor our commitment to a drug and alcohol free environment and to upholding state and federal law.
13. Say good-bye before the last minute. Once your child is on campus, he or she has already begun making that important separation from you. It may be too awkward and public for everyone to have a private goodbye in the presence of other students, families and a roommate. We suggest parents spend some time earlier, perhaps the night before, having a quiet time together to celebrate this occasion.
14. Do NOT make surprise visits to school. It can already be tricky when parents visit their student. Because the parents are in the student’s world, the student feels responsible for showing them around and being with them. When the parents show up out of the blue and the student has other things planned for the day, things can get stressful.
15. Resist the urge to decorate your child's new dorm room. One of the best ways for roommates to learn about each other and to forge a good relationship is to work together on how their room is to be arranged and decorated. Those who arrive later—even by an hour or two—are immediately at a disadvantage if one or more roommates has already established their 'territory.' Once room assignments are made students have access to their roommate’s contact information so that they can discuss room arrangements before either actually arrives on campus. When students check in early to attend Eagle Camp, UNT does not allow parents to put the room together for their child because we believe this is something important for the student to do.
16. Talk about credit cards and finances before school begins. We encourage parents to have a frank discussion about finances with their student before the student leaves home. Will the student have a credit card? Should a parent be a co-signer and get copies of the statements? Banks bombard college students with credit-card offers that start off with low spending limits but then raise them rapidly as cards are used. As a result, students can get over their heads in debt and even ruin their credit ratings before they graduate. Help your student make an educated decision on banking and credit card needs. UNT also has a Money Management Center to help students learn how to manage their finances.
17. Be interested in, but not critical of academic course selection. UNT has course selection and degree requirements that need to be addressed during the student’s first year. Generally, academic advisors give advice on selecting these courses. Parents are encouraged to express interest in, rather than criticism of, their son’s or daughter’s choices.
18. Your student’s grades will not be sent home. Students receive their grades electronically now, soon after the close of each semester. We encourage parents and students to keep an open line of communication regarding academic progress, especially if the parents are funding the student’s education!

(Some tips taken from Fairmont State, Wellesley College, University of North Texas)

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Tips for Move-In Day: Sunday Fun Day at UNT!

1. UNT calls its opening day Sunday Fun Day, and hundreds of faculty and staff are on hand to assist with moving your student in. You will recognize us in our matching green t-shirts! We are also happy to give advice and support! We also offer soft drinks and sandwiches and world class UNT music being played. All-in-all, this is a great time! Halls open at 10 am and residents can check in any time that week. Between 10 am – 2 pm on Sunday Fun Day is the biggest rush. Buildings with elevators (Kerr, Honors, Legends, Mozart, Santa Fe, Traditions, and Victory) can get a little backed up, but you can also use the stairs!
2. All halls have some parking near or within a block of the building. Parking regulations are generally relaxed a bit that day, but please do not park in a handicapped space unless you have a handicapped permit.
3. The halls have a few dollies you can borrow, but if you have a dolly you might want to bring it so you do not have to wait for one to come available.
4. You can rent mini-refrigerators and microwaves from a company who sets up tables in front of most of the residence halls. Many students bring their own and coordinate with their roommate so as to not duplicate.
5. Most hall furniture is moveable. Students often bring extra plastic drawer units, a reading lamp (no halogen lamps), and a computer (although each hall has a computer lab).

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Don't Forget...

1. Health insurance Tell your student how to access your health insurance. Students may also buy a small policy through our on-campus clinic. The medical service fee portion of student services fee allows students to receive basic services at the health center at no extra cost, although it is not a comprehensive service and students may occasionally have to use an outside medical provider. Residence hall staff cannot dispense medication.
2. Travel costs Many of our students live a short drive from home so the travel costs are minimal. If students do not have a car, it is appropriate that they pay or share the costs of gas with the students from their home towns who drive them home.
3. Holiday housing If students are from out of state, parents need to consider their children’s plans for Thanksgiving and Spring Break. UNT halls are open during these breaks at no additional charge; however, no meals are served. UNT also has several halls that stay open during the winter break for a reasonable daily fee. Students move to those halls during the break if they wish to stay.
4. Parking fees Students who wish to park on campus must purchase UNT parking permits which are available for under $150 for the academic year. Any parking tickets due to violation of parking rules will result in additional charges.
5. Food With UNT’s dining facilities, a student may eat “constant pass” from 7 am-midnight. There is an abundant supply of delicious food that is readily available. Students usually also keep a few snacks and beverages in their rooms for times when then cafeterias are closed.
6. Books and supplies Books cost about $300-$500 per semester.
7. A cell phone Since most students now use their cell phones, there are no phone lines provided in the student rooms. Students who do not have a cell phone may use one of the courtesy phones provided in the hallways, or may pay to have a phone line activated in their room. Students who wish to activate a phone in their rooms should contact Assignments and Collections at 940-565-2610.
8. Money Many parents expect their student to earn their own spending money. There are many on-campus jobs that are convenient for students living on campus. Parents who are fully funding their student’s college expenses are still encouraged to give their student some financial responsibility. For example, putting the money for a housing payment in the student’s bank account and having them make the payment helps them develop a better sense of the value of money and gets them in the habit of keeping track of payments. Classes are not the only place a student learns things that will help them later in life!

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When Your Student is Gone

1. Think about your parting words. The closing words between parents and children are crucial. Whatever wisdom you have to offer, whether it is 'I love you,' 'I'm behind you,' or 'I'm proud of you,' say it. If you can't express yourself verbally, write your thoughts down and mail the letter to your child immediately after you arrive home. Your children will remember your messages and hold on to them.
2. Your lives will change. Younger siblings may be quite happy to see the older child leave home. They will also be happy when they return for holidays! If the college-bound student is your youngest, you'll begin to reestablish a one-on-one relationship with your spouse after years of parenting!
3. You won't be able to wait for them to come home—or leave! Your child will arrive home with a whole new set of habits that weren’t in effect in high school, particularly when it comes to food, sleep, and rules. You may want to re-think these rules and adjust as necessary. However, please realize that UNT has its own (extensive) set of rules so your student hasn’t exactly been following his or her every whim that newly found college freedom has brought!
4. Don't change your child's room right away. The student's room is 'home base'––try not to change it very much during his or her first semester away. Freshmen in particular can go through some difficult times, passing exams, establishing new friendships, surviving in a setting where they are not 'top dog,' and often fearing that admissions has made a mistake—they do not really belong at college. Give them a 'safe haven.'
5. When a problem arises, "move like your feet are stuck in molasses." The temptation is to intervene when a child calls home with a problem. Remember that many resources exist at college to help students cope with various situations. Express support, but give your children time to solve their own problems—it will ultimately benefit them. This is a big part of college—learning to resolve your own questions, conflicts and frustrations. Colleges have many safety nets, beginning with the Resident Assistant, the Hall Director, and the Central Housing staff who are trained to identify and handle just about any problem you can imagine.
6. As mentioned previously, try not call or expect a daily call. Students have been observed walking out of exams and the first thing they do is call home to report on the exam. This may be a bit excessive and cause delay in that snip-snip of the apron strings that needs to occur!
7. When parents visit their student on campus, it is an incredibly delightful experience if they invite not only their student out for a nice meal, but also a few of their close new friends. It will be unexpected and so appreciated! Even delicious dorm food can get monotonous. You will also get a glimpse at the new people in your child’s life (hopefully, that will be good!)

(Some tips from Emory University and UNT)

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Paying for Housing

1. A new expense.
   After housing your student for 17-18 years “for free,” having to make a monthly housing payment is going to be a little painful no matter how you slice it! I can tell you that among Texas universities our rates are in the lower half of the scale, but it will still seem expensive because it is a new expense and well, because it IS quite a bit of cash! We believe it is worth it—so much so that UNT requires freshmen to live on campus or commute from home. A freshman cannot just set up housekeeping in an apartment. We want them on campus if at all possible—for all the obvious reasons. Just so you know, Housing no longer sends paper bills to the home; it is all on-line. We now break the fee into four payments per semester (September, October, November, December; January, February, March, April).
2. We’ll work with you on payment arrangements.
   We will work with you and your student to make payments as convenient as possible. If the regular payment plan doesn’t work for you, if your student is waiting for financial aid, if there has been an unexpected setback in your financial situation, just have your student come by Crumley Hall to the Assignments & Collection area on the 1st floor and we will have a staff member talk with them and make an arrangement that seems reasonable. Like any creditor, we just need to see a face and hear your story so we can be empathetic. Unfortunately, most students exercise the “if I avoid the problem, it will go away” tactic. The “no payment, no contact” approach forces us to seek out the student. If a student is particularly resistant to work with us we may have to resort to more severe measures, such as placing a block on their account with Student Accounting, to get his or her attention. We prefer to talk to your student and simply make a reasonable plan, so please encourage your student to come see us if you will not be able to make a payment by the deadline.
3. Where and how to make a payment.
   At this time and for various reasons, Housing fees are separate from the rest of the university and are paid separately. What this means is that your student needs to pay in Crumley hall, on-line, or by dropping a check in the payment box at each hall’s front desk. It also means that when their financial aid comes in, the rest of the university takes what is owed them and cuts a check for the difference to the student who is then expected to make their Housing payment with the remainder. While this seems straightforward enough, many students misunderstand (or choose to misunderstand!) and take the “excess money that was leftover” and go shopping—usually for the latest electronic equipment for their room. While this makes their roommate and neighbors and themselves quite happy, it does not make the Housing collections folks happy! We’d appreciate your support in getting your student to promptly pay their bill when they get their cash!
4. What happens when payments are not paid as negotiated?
   A late fee of $15 is applied to the account once the payment is 5 day past due. Late letters are sent to the student’s room (slid under the door). The letter includes the amount past due and informs the student of payment options or payment arrangements. If this effort does not work, we send any past due balance to Student Accounting as a “block.” Until this block is paid students will not be able to register for future semesters, receive any refunds, or order transcripts until this balance is paid.

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Employment in Housing

Housing employs over 100 students in our Resident Assistant positions. If your student has leadership ability, would love to care for about 40-50 students on a wing, have their room and board covered plus receive a monthly stipend of about $150, encourage them to consider being an RA! Minimum requirements are a 2.5 GPA and 50 hours of academic credit earned. Go to http://housing.unt.edu and look on the left margin for a direct link to our RA selection web site.

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